I mean I feel like there is a cold, wet, butted-out cigarette in my mouth.

It’s like “Jacques Blanc” is trying to go all California on me. I mean, really. Is your name really Jacques? Now it just seems like a joke. Oh. And “mis en bouteille au chateau”? I doubt it.

Where’s the terroir? Why the hell does it taste like a cigarette butt?

Maybe it’s just my foul mood. But I don’t think so.

Chateau Jacques Blanc
Saint-Emilion Grand Cru
2006
Merlot
Cabernet Franc

Trader Joe’s in Bayshore

I have to laugh at that question, “every” time.

Drink it or toss it.

I mean, why keep an opened bottle of wine? I find it hard to fathom there might be an opened bottle of wine that you would want to “keep” past today anyway.

The great bottles go down too quickly – no chance for contemplating about how to “save” the leftover wine. [Side note: I really don't believe in any leftovers of any kind... to-go boxes, doggy bags, etc.]

And the crappy wine you didn’t finish? You want to save it for tomorrow because you didn’t like it today? That doesn’t make any sense to me. Wine only gets better with age left unopened.

So, now that we’ve covered the “great” bottles of wine and the “crappy” bottles of wine… there might actually be a couple real dilemmas out there.

Hypothetical Dilemma #1: Really good bottle of wine was opened, but it is too much for one person to drink. What do I do?

Answer: Find a friend already. Go next door and offer a glass. Share the love. In fact, that “really good” bottle of wine will go to “great” after sharing it with someone.

Hypothetical Dilemma #2: Pretty good bottle of wine was opened, but instead of making a fool of myself and drinking the whole bottle, I would like to split my stupidity over 2 nights instead of 1.

Answer: It doesn’t really matter how you keep it as long as you drink it TOMORROW. There is not really any good way to keep a bottle past 12-24 hours, although there are a few methods that will make it just fine the next day. Easiest is to put a cork in it and throw it in the refrigerator. Pull it out 20 min before dinner or 20 minutes before noon if you’re “that” kind of drinker (read: April Rhodes alla Glee from last night’s episode).

There are a few other clunky wine keepers that others swear by – but I mostly just feel silly using them. The classic is the wine pump that attempts to suck the air out of the bottle. In theory this is logical.

#1: Vacu Vin Wine Saver (avail at Cost Plus / World Market… THIS IS THEIR IMAGE):

This one is hands down the commoners solution to the opened wine problem. Everyone has one. As do I. If your dilemma is #2, and want something more elegant that jamming the cork back in the bottle, then go ahead and get this. $9.99 @ World Market.

#2: Metrokane Velvet Wine and Champagne Sealer (avail at Cost Plus / World Market… THIS IS THEIR IMAGE… (pictured on the right) ):

I recently got this one for dilemma #2. I just like the form factor – I’m not sure it does anything more than the cork could do. But it does make it look like I’m at least trying to preserve my wine without looking like a dork pumping air out of the bottle with a plastic wine pumper. Also @ World Market.

Note: I also see that Metrokane has a fancier wine pump – The V-Gauge Wine Preserver (pictured in the middle). This might be the best solution – pump air out, but it looks a little more fancy. I don’t have one … but by day’s end I might.

But see this is where I get back to square one. Why again am I trying to save a bottle of wine?

So, I set out to treat this “Badia a Coltibuono” as a step-up option to the make-you-cry Coltibuono. This “Badia a Coltibuono” was $22.99 vs. the make-you-cry Coltibuono at $17.99. Question is… in paying $5 bucks more, do you get more?

OK. So now I’m totally seeing this is a fruitless experiment. In general, I’d say the answer is always yes as long as you don’t fall for brand names (or try to do this in the grocery store – heaven forbid).

But, ignoring the grocery-store-wine-shopping issues, I think this is clear cut. Yes, you typically get more. Especially if you stay in the same family – in this case, I’m considering “coltibuono” all the same family of wine. I’ll investigate at another time to figure out what it is. And probably regret the fact I’m too lazy/busy/ADD to check it out now.

In the step-up world, you need to make a blind decision. You need to decide, sight unseen (or taste untasted, I guess) if the extra $5 buckaroos is worth it. Will you care? Would you notice? So it was these thoughts in mind when I decided to try the “better” bottle first.

It’s better. End of story.

Badia a Coltibuono
2006
Chianti Classico
90% Sangioveto, 10% Canaiolo
Estate grown, Estate bottled

It’s a game I learned in LA from a dear friend that shall go unnamed (upon editing this post).

Whenever a night of drunken debauchery leads to ill-favored gossip about some poor victim (obviously not present) we must give them “2 Up’s”. Meaning, since we just totally defaced them, we must now say 2 positive things about this person so as to make us feel good about ourselves, because heck: We really were saying nice things about them too.

So, here we go:

2 up
Shiraz
2007
South Australia

The official “Two-up” game is an Australian one, consisting of two pennies flying and a paddle (I’m not sure what happens to the paddle). Apparently everyone “goes wild” until the game ends. I can’t explain how to play the Australian two-up game… the bottle doesn’t really explain it other than “everyone goes wild until the pennies land”. I just can’t imagine how long the pennies can be flying?

I have a problem with wines that focus too much on the backstory. It’s cute, it’s endearing, but it’s a little purple cowboy. I also have a problem with wines that note on the label how critics love the wine… it’s sort of the hang-tag problem for me. I can’t buy a wine with a hang-tag that notes the “wine spectator” rating. Or says it’s a “best buy”.

Sounds like I need another glass of wine to take the edge off? You’re probably right.

OK. Here we go with “our LA” version of “2-Ups”…

1. I listened to my favorite album of all time – Texas, White on Blonde, while drinking this wine. I really love that album.

2. I got an aerator that I was able to try out on this wine. It’s called “Vinturi” and it makes a cool bubbling noise as you pour your wine into your glass AND makes me pour more than I should drink because I get distracted with the cool noise. I love my Vinturi.

So … understand the 2-ups game? It’s devilishly fun.

“I like this one better”… so Andrew says. “But it might be a
temperature thing.”

Ok.

Specifically, I love a waiter who tells me what to order.

I continually insist on chatting with the waiter regarding what to
order… And tonight I found the master at Ado in Venice. Never have
I found such an opinionated waiter, never have I wanted to order
anything the waiter chose for me… In fact, never have I had the
owner shave truffles on my pasta. Paulo shaved truffles on Antonios
pasta. ha. ha ha.

And then wine. He decided if we should order glasses or a bottle
after our “corkage” bottle… And while the bottle that we brought was
way better than the bottle we bought, I’m in love (with the place…
Not the waiter for the record. Plus, it doesn’t hurt when the owner
kisses us and asks how we are upon arrival. I eat that shit up…
such a sucker I am.)

Chateau Saint-Sulpice
Red Bourdeaux Wine
2006

Success: It was the only bottle of bourdeaux at Zinki’s Grocery & Liquor & we-are-here-from-Russia-for-the-summer-on-a-government-
program Market.

Not-so-much: Not-so-good.

Success: I managed to get the cork out with the “hotel”‘s cheap fork and knife (I’ll show you sometime).

Not-so-much: I only got out half the cork with this new method. The other half had to be sacrificed and pushed in.

Gotta love the Wisconsin Dells, Water Park Capital of the USA.

Ordered the same bottle two nights in a row… But it was so good last
night (XYZ @ The W hotel) that I had to get it tonight at First Crush
(which is just fine). But thank you Fred for first introducing me to
the world of Ridge… Are you still part of their wine club or are you
too cool now?

Ridge
Sonoma County
Three Valleys
2007

76% Zinfandel
8% petite syrah
7% syrah
6% grenache
3% carignane

And yes, I'm too drunk to see if that adds up to 100% … but I'm so
OCD i'll be thinking about it all night. Crap.

Holy smokes… Not really sure what to think. Pacific Rim … FKA
Bonny Doon… Need to look into this…

I like this wine about as much as I do the band, wolfmother…

Sorry Amy! I mean for not liking wolfmother… I’m sure you’d back me up on this wine. It actually makes it to the not drinkable list … It’s just so overdone.

I might stray away from my risky- “world market” buys for awhile… I.e. Sub-$10 buckaroos